好一个相爱，不如相知

You Are Still the Ultimate !

2005-06-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

You're the kind of friend who always bends when I'm broken
Like remember when
You took my heart and put it back together again

I've been wasting time with clueless girls
But now it's over
Let me tell you why
I'm through
I've meet someone new
Just like you

You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the girl
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

You're the kind of girls who's hands and
mind send shivers up and down my spine
You took my heart and put it back together again

You're the kind of girl that blows my mind
But now it's my turn
You've been right in front of me
Everything I need
Why didn't i see

You're it
You're the ultimate
It's Automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the girl
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the girl
You're it
You're the ultimate
It's Automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the girl
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

You're it

You're the ultimate, you....

YOU And I

2005-06-05T03:38:00.000+08:00

You Show Me What A Purest Love Could Be | Yet
You Show Me How Hurt It Could Be To Love You | Yet
You Give Me Hope To Love You | Yet
You Are Trying To Stop Me From Your World | Yet
You Show Me The Door To You | Yet
You Drift Apart From Me | But
I Try My Best Everything To Give You | But
I Could Give Was A Nothing To You | But
I Try To Give Bit By Bit, Hoping It Could Accumulate | But
I Hope You Could See It And Accept It | But
I Felt I No Longer Seems To Be Into Your Picture | But
I Still Telling Myself , I Should Continue | Cos
I Felt There Was No Regret But I M No Longer Exist

There we go again

2005-05-15T02:18:00.000+08:00

I can already feel tat, my mind is starting to lose confidence.Can see my desire future i pursue is fading away. I m always there to do, to put in the effort, probably not enough. Tired to put in effort, i guess. Seriously speaking, this world has really no longer hardwork and sincere brings you back ur harvest. Somehow, i have lose myself, i have lose confidence, i have lose everything i felt. Probably pple out there, might think i might jus overestimated myself but , maybe what i have gone through, i felt enough already.

Now a world has come, Woman has become more decisive in their relationship, while Man has become more indecisive.

Reasons, What causes woman to be more decisive,
1) Don't wish to get cheated or get hurt
2) Felt tat Guys 2day cant be rely on.
3) Woman Career Picking up fast, $$ not a consent

Reasons , Why Guys are indecisive towards feelings, (** Throw away Horny Guys Category)
1) Nv know is the gf showing a true feeling anot.
2) Due to woman 2day decisive, Guys dare not step forward
3) Guys Biggest Problem : no $$ = no Confidence

There are still more reasons but lazy to put them up, LOL

Well, sometimes i felt, its very much vice versa kinda thing, due to woman did what, guy have other kinda reaction towards it, then due to guy did what, female tends to have reaction towards it, Somehow, end up, No one is trustful to No One.

Regardless, Pple already been 2gether, but inside them might have the kinda idea of not trusting each other etc.

I mean, if everyone could jus let go of everything in life, isnt it jus pure love tat we all are searching for?

i remember, there was a friend, told me she pity children in other countries. Felt like helping, but felt tat its kinda beyond her reach even she is given a chance for e.g
I was telling her tat, if you could give up everything in life, No measures in Life, i think you could probably do what you wish to do.Cos everything in your life has no longer has a value, where what is show in front of you is jus pure kids tat in need of help.Plague, Sickness, Virus has no longer bother your mind. I believe 2day, ALMOST everyone cant let everything go. even till the day they die, i believe, they still have things they dont wish to let go.

Love Yourself and Love Others is truely jus a LINE Different.

Pple 2day can tell me, To love yourself 1st. I felt tat there is a truth there, but what i could felt, is to Love Others more than Love myself. If i could see, Pple i LOve is happy, i already Happy Myself.Somehow, i know this logic is a double edge Sword. I have to Sacrifice a lot of things jus to exchange this kinda Happiness in return. I jus couldnt help it.

Sharon, why 4 to 5 yrs has pass, i still pursued my dream? Cos you show me its possible to be done. But 2day,i felt diff. Diff as not in not Possible, But probably i already tired. i can see my life is already very meaningless without you arnd me. I understand tat scenario will not happen unless miracle have shown me the light.

2day, I think i m very helpless, very lost, i really dont know what i should do, to make my life better.i understand i m always been avoiding the fact, the reality But asking myself, i really dont know what to do next. i really Love you, i really can die for you.i really wish to make all my effort jus to make you happy but, the situation you gave doesnt allow. i m really lost, sharon, i m really lost.

What you wanna me to do, pls? TELL ME.to me, what i felt tat what you wanna me to be , is a totally perfection guy tat could give you what you want. i really wish i could do tat, but i m a human, i not saint.i hope i m , but i m not.

Till 2day, what i could simply ask from you , is jus a merely hug you tight, and really burst into tears. but i know i m dreaming abt it. i m always dreaming of you every night , everyday. Jus to give myself a lie, tat i could see you everyday. How i could really wish to keep lying to myself for this. Do you know how does it felt to force yourself everyday to think of one person tat wasnt beside you. I m a Guy, but i really crying into tears. Sometimes, i was thinking, for this 4 yrs, i been stucking in 1 same spot . Why? i Jus couldnt help it , not to give up to love you.i jus couldnt help it.

2day, i really have no confidence to even give you a call, cos, i understand, you already dont want me even as a friend. Pple out there who see this, may think that i m really stupid to the core to keep stuck at this spot who does all this kinda shit jus for 1 person i love. how much i could tell you , i really need you. i can tell you, no matter what happen to you, jus tat you tell me, you want me to take care of you for life, i will not have 2nd word. no Matter what happen to you, i will accompany you till i could live till the day ended. i really wish to sacrifice for you, pls give me a chance.

**** A guy shouldn't drop his tears, BUT a guy who drops his tears is a real guy ****

( 情 )

2005-04-27T00:48:00.000+08:00

( 情 )

Happy Birthday To You, Sharon

2005-04-18T06:22:00.000+08:00

Sharon,

Happy Birthday To You.

Kenneth

Its Her Birthday at 18th April

2005-04-17T22:42:00.000+08:00

Well, b4 i start, very much sorry for pple really spend time reading my blog. Cos i always seem to write what i think or feel, OR even mostly write jus abt her.

Yups, lame intro for the day huh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Call up her 2day evening, somehow, she sound very much better. A better life w/o kenneth is arnd , i guess, well, i might be over sensitive abt it but then i jus couldnt help it to think abt it. Somehow, i really helpless, clueless of what i should do next. True enough i should really start to move on whats in my life now. But then , to think abt, i m kinda nothing really without her.

it has always bothering me for my past 4yrs in my mind. i m a guy who wish to give his everything to someone he loves, but he has nothing with him. Ha, sound ironic isnt it? I m always there to tell myself, i wish to give her the happy moment i could give but yet what i could do now is nothing.

Sharon, i really gonna admit, to LOVE you is really hurting for myself. probably when u say this, u might not even know or understand what it means. I swear to god, for this past 4yrs, i think of no one but jus you.No matter what i could do, it seems that, everyday , every seconds, i will put u into my mind, thinking of you everyday.

Gals, out there, if u see life as a realistic kinda life, u probably will say i m a very naive and cant face fact or reality person. Well, i m kinda person. But, i understand what realistic life and reality is, but i jus dont want to go believe it.

Cos i know once i believe,for all what i believe in will fall. it will turn out to be fake. I dont believe reality overcome my truthfulness.i believe one day sharon will understand how i feel. i always there wanna to believe. But reality seems to be very much factual as it is.

i could also understand, pple dont really cherish much till they lose their things. I keep having this kinda feeling that, till i m really gone, Sharon will know my existence. Sad to say, i probably already on my way to the "GONE" side. I really dont wish things happen this way.

All reality have really making me fading away very much faster than b4. i m here, see of pointless kinda life.

Someone pls tell me what i should do ?

i really wish tat miracle comes to tell me , that sharon is beside me, smiling to me so warmly.i could hug her warm. tell her, happiness will be our finale.

我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

My Feelings

2005-04-14T14:38:00.000+08:00

想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味
你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你做任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决

I know some where inside has already gone crazy, not myself anymore

2005-04-04T06:47:00.000+08:00

Practically, my mind right now isnt stable condition to make any decision. somehow i felt that my brain has gone nuts. somehow i felt that i m more stupid.cant think straight.somewhere inside has always been crying.Very much upset with the army life i m having.Very upset with me right now. Feel like dying.

well, she is online

2005-03-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

well, she happens to be online.

same thing the idea came to my mind, she might not wanna listen what i say.
sorry to be that sensitive, but thats what in my mind. somehow, i still dont know how to tell her what i wanan tell her.

Really feel like crying, but my tears jus doesnt seem to drop.
My Heart feel like buried into the ground that couldnt see sky again

i know i shouldnt stuck my life into it but to rather avoid it. i jus cant help it to keep remember it.

i know for what she needs, i will give her without any question BUT i know i dont have the kinda power to fulfill this needs. i only can dream of her from far. think of her.

i understand things, environment surroundings always doesnt allow things to really work it in the way they want even they try their best to do it.

it has been near 4 yrs, i guess, i trying my best to reach my goals, trying my best to bit by bit to give her a bit of happiness, i hope finally one day it could really accumulate to give her the best out of everything.

Sharon, i m still working on it and trying my best to give you happy moments. I hope you could give me the time. I will try my best.

Kenneth sign here.
what remains might be jus memories for me.

somehow it happen again

2005-03-20T01:28:00.000+08:00

Well, came back since yesterday. Happen to fall asleep , kinda felt tired but lying on the bed, make me think of her again. Came to realise of write the blog with almost same title again "somehow it happen again".

i dont know why, my mind came blank. nothing jus to think of her in my mind.nevertheless, i kept scenario myself with her chatting. everytime , i wanna to tell her how i feel, i nv have the courage to say everything out but only in my dreams.

i always felt that my true, my real always been a doubt to her.i really wish i could be her side, take care of her, protect her, give her happiness everyday. but came back to realise in reality, everything seems to be jus diff. i dont understand probably, i guess. my love isnt a game, isnt a matter that is treat as a joke.

sharon, from the bottom of my heart , i really love you. regardless, i saying through words, i really mean it, i really mean it. no matter what happens to you, i will take care of you , give u the happiness u want, till the last moment , last seconds i have.

will you please , give me the one and only chance for me to love you.

Memories might be gone , when love remains.
Love might be gone while whats left is jus memories.

OH well, i gonna go, i know no one is reading my blog but aaa still writing it lahz.

2005-03-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

Well, 6hrs plus more to go b4 i going to serve Ns, duhz

not going to find me within 1 wks...

anyway, contact me through phone i guess....

take care everyone

and to the significant other, i guess. I m still the same.

I really Love You, Can You Please Believe Me?

2005-02-22T01:48:00.000+08:00

Sharon,

I really dont know how m i going to convince you to really believe me. I really Love You, really love you. I really cant live a happy day without you.

I really want to answer ur question now. If i have 1 day left, i will spend the every moment and every seconds to give you the happiness i coud give you. If i was given a chance to choose male or female in next life, i will still choose to be a male, to still continue protect you and give you the happiness i could give you. To continue give you the happiness that wont end. I really Love you, can you believe me? Please, believe me, Please .

I m really sorry if i always kinda act funny infront of you, even for this 4 yrs of knowing you, but i will still have to nervous feeling growing in my mind that make me act wierd.

I m also sorry, i know i wont live long enough to protect you or give you happiness.sometimes, i kept thinking what if one day sharon really need me , and i m not there.

Snowman, I really wish to beside with you forever.really forever. how i wish everyday is winter, that snowman wont melt away from me.

I have try all means to forget you, or even give up. But think back, what is fact can nv change. if it is a fact to me, i wont give up loving you. I wont give up, really i wont give up.

I really LOVE YOU.

* i know that you wont know my blog exist but i hope miracle fall upon me.

< | 记忆会消失，爱情会留下 , 我想用我这一辈子去爱你。 | >

I always remember what i say for what i mean in the past

2005-01-27T02:47:00.000+08:00

I still can remember that i was in sec 3, i watch the hong kong drama series, "My Date with a Vampire 2", i saw an episode, that one guy happen to fall in love in a ghost,female ghost,"sadako"
hahahah i know its kinda - -)V but aaaa, probably to me, if i one day really fall in love with a ghost, i probably also choose what the guy did in the drama,fall in love with ghost, and wanna to stay with her, abandon human life.

Probably people might say i m nuts, of cos some may not. Why human life, Somehow, i really dont like that way how people express themselves, so fake, so unreal, so not true.

If i could really love a ghost, and the ghost really love me.i dont have to face any fake people,i jus want pure love.

what people always say. a man bleed but never cry, but to me, when oneself cry, is a man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Sharon,

Guys, or even people out there, if u know her, pls let her know abt this blog, can?

I dont know how much time i left.Seriously. u all may think that i might think too much, but then lets face the fact.i have illness, no matter how , i really wish to spend my life living happily.
i really wish sharon could love me jus abit.or even at least let me see her once . I know i dont have time, i dont even can make promises to give her happiness. i have lost the chance or even rights to give her happiness, i dont have a happy ending. i know i cant bring her happiness.

BUT

I could still remember , sharon, you ask me , what if i have jus 86400secs(1day), what will i do?
i m so foolish or even not in the mind to tell you.Cos at the instant, somehow my mind is blank.
i told u, i will hug you and my close ones to the end.

Probably i should rephrase it. Till the end of the every seconds,even till the day should be ended at the end of the day, i will use every seconds i have, to give you happiness i could give.till the end of that moment , i wont give up to give you the happiness i could give.

when i saw that guy truely wanna to give up his human life for female ghost.i could really ask myself, or i should say, i wont even ask, i will do the same thing too.

To people out there,stepping out to the world, fake bring you to nowhere but sadness.why dont bring out a true heart to show people.

i ask nothing less, but jus pure love.

Sign
Kenneth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our Smile,Do you remember?Sharon, Your tears , i remember it forever.

Memories Can Be Gone But Love Remains

2005-01-18T03:08:00.000+08:00

Somehow, this is a quote from My Date with Vampire 3.

---> Memories Can Be Gone But Love Remains

But to me,if Love is not even there, what i could left myself is jus Memories.

To me 2day, have really left only memories for me look on.What i wanna see, probably like what i say, is in my dreams.Memories that have been left only to be seen in dreams.

Somehow after watching finish the whole drama series, it kinda reflected on how i thinking
from the beginning till now.

i have nv believe in fate, cos i believe fate is always in our hands.
But after sharon started to really drift apart from me, i started to believe of fate
Now after watching the show,fate shouldnt have exist, is miracle we have to create

Miracle = Determination and Belief

Which i always think i could create miracle or miracle could fall upon me at that time.

Somehow now, i m tired of moving on. Having the Belief but lack of my determination.
Probably an excuse to give myself, i guess.

Maybe i should really make a decision on choosing Miracle or shall i choose Fate

Miracle v.s Fate
(how ironic it is)

Somehow i felt, i m a person not worth to be love

2004-12-31T02:43:00.000+08:00

Somehow, i saw cynicz's blog, cast images of sorrows in me.
Somehow, i felt i m more to think that i m a person not worth to be love.
Somehow, i know i m starting to regret, BUT
Somehow, i know no matter which path i choose, i would choose to hurt myself.

Somehow, i remain to keep the pain to myself, rather to share it.
Somehow, i know the truth, but i rather to be a sin.

Somehow, i know no one knows what, why, how m i thinking.
Somehow, isnt i dont wish to share, is probably truth isnt abt sharing,its abt understanding.
Somehow, All people know the truth, But what is the REAL truth remains in ME.

Somehow, i hope the DEATH NOTE have my NAME in it.

Somehow, i could say does anyone i know spare some time to know who m i anyway.
Somehow, i know there was no one.

Somehow, if u know, every phrase of sentences here, have its own meaning that slide beneath what you could see.

Somehow, I pray Miracle Happiness fall upon people i LOVE.

Somehow, i m a Nobody.

Somehow it happen again everyday

2004-12-29T09:28:00.000+08:00

Last Nite,

somehow, i dreamt of the same person again, even its a diff dream but its still she alright.
somehow, its so true to tell myself that the only chance to see her, is in my dream.
somehow, i think of her everyday.

somehow, in my dream, i saw she is very tired,very helpless.
somehow, in me, i m helpless too.
somehow, what i could do, was nothing.
somehow, i so afraid to lose the only hope in life.
somehow, i afraid i lose you in life.

Kenneth
Our Smile, Do you still remember? ; Sharon, Your tears, i remember forever.

Its Xmas eve 2day

2004-12-24T17:17:00.000+08:00

Hi guys n gals,

its Xmas eve 2day, i still at home rotting basically

somehow now i dont have this feative season mood huh..

Hahaha, Any way b4 i continue,

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same for every yr, xmas , i probably still sitting here, thinking sharon(snowman).

Somehow i felt even its xmas, really have spend it with someone u love.Of cos friends r included

but somehow spending the Peace night with the siginificant other, probably will be the most

happiest moment that most pple wanna to spend.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peace Nite huh, Snowman : where r you now this moment? I think of you everyday when i m awake, i only could see you in my dreams. r u fine? I hope snowman will forever be there w/o the sun burning on you again. Somehow 2day, i still wish be the shelter offer to you to protect you wherever you are. I m not with you now, but i hope at least i wanna be some small roles chars in ur life. Forget me not.

Our Smiles, Do you still remember? Sharon ,your Tears, I remember it forever.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kenneth
Ur Fat Cat Uncle (Slim abit liaoz) HAHAHA

http://www.geocities.com/kususa_zkold/Maple0000.jpg

Hi, kinda know that there is no people reading my blog

2004-11-26T06:05:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys,

Well, Me kinda long time didnt update my blog.Probably dont know wat to write and wat to start and how to start one. I finally foudn a girlfriend but i not happy.U all must be asking me why in the 1st place, i m with my current gf,isnt it?Ha one good question tat i dont even know i answering myself truely from my heart.Everytime i thought of sharon,my tears naturally drop from my eyes.Probably the only reason i could give myself is bcos i wanna forget abt sharon.Ha,irresponsible isnt it?

Basically,i trying my best to my current gf.Making the effort to close up our relationship but it seems that things isnt much simple after all.She is 19 but she came from a very much caged family.Probably why the way she thinks, i hardly could accept.Speaking Frankly,she is naive and childish through the ways she thinks. I m there making an effort to try to change myself and also to make her understand wat m i trying to tell her. But of cos, its always difficult as it seems..

Somehow, i felt that she is a person tat doesnt do for wat she speaks.To me,somehow she is diff from common pple, she always live in her world when times has already fallen back on her.Somehow i know that i have to have patience on her but then throughout my entire life till now, i felt tired.Pple out there who dont know me, i dont know how to start to tell u how tired and exhausted m i but i m truely tired,regardless of all area.trust me, u wont wanna know.

Life is always like "THAT" after all,isnt it?it always seems that the one we love the most, mostly isnt the one that is beside u.

Well,basically i dont know what to do next,very much in a dilemma. I m here searching for someone to love but i know the one either beside or not ,isnt loving me. To continue or not, its seems that both ways is a double edges sword.

If i choose to leave, probably the one beside me might still stuck in her world which is a misery.probably after that she wont trust anyone any more. - i dont wish tat to happen.This world has already came a sickening end, i dont wish anymore pple going into it.

But if i choose to continue, Its seems there are no happiness.True enough from the way it seems. i should choose to leave but i cant bear see that happen.Somehow it will tear me apart.

very much indecisive isnt it?

Life such a word easy to write, but such a difficult path to move.

Ok, 2day "jia ba bo sai pang", have the urge of write 2 blog entries hee hee something to SHOUT OUT LOUD.

2004-10-11T18:35:00.000+08:00

I have REDUCED WEIGHT for 20 KGS, omg, is that something to be happy about. lolz.

From 110 KGS to now 90 KGS, woot song bo. HAHAHAHA. always use to tell me aaaa i only 105 KGS lahz, actually i 110 KGS...hee hee cheat people lahz...boh bianz if not kinda very inferior feeling lehz..lolz.. oops :X LOLz....

20 KGS

Beard Papa Cream Puff, Moustach Mama Curry Puff !!! -_-"

2004-10-11T13:00:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes i know its lame. but then kinda i still laugh out loud when i heard about this. Me and my friend were buying some cheeses puff in the 1st place, which the "Beard Papa" having them moving clearence sales, usual offer is 5 free 1 cheese or cream puff. that was the last day, they have the offer in 4 for 1 free. so Yuting( a friend of mine) bought the cheese pies. Then she was murmbling about it. hmm if there is "Beard Papa" why not we have "Moustach Mama", i was
-_-" ....wah piang very lame. but then i stil laugh it out loud about it. kinda having the ascent that she say: "Beard Papa, Moustach Mama" lolz...

Well i gonna admit, yuting is jus 14 yrs old girl but then she is very much attractive. But then, attractive to bad company towards her. i dont think the kinda attractive doesnt bring in good end for her. ha, come on, everyone jus wanna cum on her. but then believe or not, i jus wanna hug her tight. cos dont know why, to me, she is someone kinda those curdle it tight cosy...nice to hug. hee hee doesnt that make me sound evil. aaaa not the evil,right? lolz.

Well gonna go to carry on doing my FYP report....damn lucky that extension is till this wednesday b4 5pm but then the more it extend, the more it havent ends. lolz.. oh ohoh
i found someone that i think she is suitable for me but dont know how she think....but then kinda sad ends for her, as to wat i know, she doesnt believe much of love as previously she told me she is hurt too much where she doesnt believe love kinda anymore...oh well things always doesnt seem right to me after all....lolz.... how ironic it is....?

*** there is no strong will humans, even there is, he or she couldnt defeat love and loneliness ***

Well, i m doing my FYP today in school but then i realise something

2004-09-19T14:44:00.000+08:00

Well, things have really come to one end that i really have to finish my Final Year Project. There are lot of problems that i encounter then i use all the lame own theory to solve it. Damn i hack care the programming standards lahz...as long i can get the thing done and "almost same" with the original, i "think" i will be fine...lol...2 weeks more to go. i have to finish the product "by right" by 2molo monday 3pm, then i have to meet my supervisor for major slaughter. i m very sure i will be slaughter by him parts by parts and pieces by pieces. Lolz. Damn i jus merely hate him...but then the scope the of product is the booking part. damn it is one real hard to "do". It is particularly same with other E-Comm website. but then normal E-comm webby only buy then delete the product from the inventory...but then for my project is on hotel online booking system. Customers books the room, then i have to "sort of delete the room" from the particular "date" damn the date with the rooms are real deadly...i can tell u..lolz..i m dying already, cant imagine i m typing here and laughing also. LOlz... k k i know i m OUT of my MIND already.

Well come to this end i found out that Sharon's hp no is kinda not in service. then i also kinda rush this project, didnt have the time to call her house. but then to think about it, its like more an excuse of not to call..lolz..guess what...i afraid that after the call, it will worsen my progress in my project, which i know it sure will. Lolz.. the Other reason i think is probably is kinda no point kinda keep chasing this way...if she really wanna continue, she will probably wanna call me Or even Email me. throughout all this 3yrs, i really realise Loving sharon is really painful, A person really cant live without love and cant defeat loneliness.

there was a girl now my kinda "best" friend - she was my 2 best friends' ex girlfriend. ha guess what sometime i really cant resist the kinda temptation everytime we go out 2gether. for every relationship with she and my friends, i seem to be the one be silence, which i didnt when their problems come by. well 3 of them are my best friends, i probably cant run anywhere. Ha but one thing for sure, is becos of their relationships with her. i start to have feelings within her. i see their problems, incidents, things that are arnd are seem to have to change. For sharon, i really no idea. i have the idea, but i cant continue. No Green light, i cant move on. for 3yrs i have help people arnd me, leaving myself to stuck there one spot hoping true love prevails.

Now i have going to finish My project, till then i shall decide what happen next. Time really can change oneself's mind and concept. - i wish i have no changes in me.

*** Our Smile, Do you still remember? Your Tears, i remember it Forever ***

My 21st Birthday - was a "darn" day

2004-09-10T08:29:00.000+08:00

Well, always thought that 21st birthday could be a day for me to have the best happiness moment in my life which i knew it can nv happen. ha,why? well, i jus know it. Early in the morning go school do FYP, which i think i m normal to go school to do Fyp but my friends all say, crazy ahz, 21st birthday at least go rest, go play, go out have a break. But then i still go school do my Fyp. It was really kinda have the feeling of lost, kinda like meaningless day on a same day like other normal day.

Well, of course that day i didnt have much of a mood to really do my Fyp. Leaving the school arnd evening, going chalet at night time. It was Michael's chalet that he celebrating his Bday. But then when i reach there was no kinda atmosphere of any Bday feeling. Oh yah, i call Sharon's hp. somehow it is not in service. Ha lame.

K, i gonna admit this is ....how i wish that there is someone beside me, loving me caring for me. i know that a guy like me, should be someone loving someone else and care for someone. somehow there are ends that i havent say but i really wish someone is there for me. I jus wanna hug tight and sleep tight. for every night i have havent a night sleep well. Ha, most people out there may think i m jus guy that is horny,always think of something like that in and out...but then i felt regardless of guy or not. Humans are really weakling, cos we are actually very vulnerable. for those we always see as their strong, their power to stand up, probably they are the ones that are really vulnerable.

Even the most violent woman tenders the man she loves.
Even the most heartless man couldn't admit he afraid the loneliness.

For women that always say Mans out there are all cheaters, cheating their feeling. Saying guys are heartless. But then what causes man to be cheater is because women they met cheated their feelings. Then man will say i rather not pull in all the love he has.

Vice Versa for woman. Got Cheated from men, dont wish to put in all the love for the next feelings.

This is so LAME. I maybe wrong with what i say but i jus dont understand people always have the idea of it but then jus dont wish to share it.

People is always missing or even dont wish to believe the one that loves them isnt the ones they love. Cos its always they loves those who dont love them. How Ironic. People jus dont wish to really "OPEN" their eyes to "SEE" people. Even they see but they will choose not to believe it.

Is it really so hard to really love someone that u dont think u like in the 1st place. Isnt it all about feelings.

To Sharon:

this maybe short, but is wat i wanna say "now"....i have told u number of times that i really love you. without fail, my love is really true and real from my heart. But i even told myself "dont know how many times" i really love you, i trying to be strong for u to rely on me. I m trying my best to keep up your pace. I know i m very much behind time compare to guys outside now. but regardless of what had happen, i m still trying my best to be a man that you rely on. I knw things is already on the bad side on my ends but i jus couldnt let you go in my mind. Believe or Not, "Loving Sharon, Giving her the happiness" this sentence has really wrote in my mind everyday. There has not been one day i didnt think of you.

Kenneth
Love you till the day comes to an end.

Our Smile, Do you still remember? Your Tears, I remember it Forever.

Ok Something that I dont know is it true ABT me !!! LoLz

2004-09-02T15:39:00.000+08:00

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1. You are attracted to those who have split personality, like cold as ice on the outside, but hot as fire in the heart.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she loves you.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always.

6. You can never be stabilized; actually, you are not suitable for marriage and you don't want to make committment.

7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your freedom.

8. At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as something you can get and trash anytime you want.
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Ha - something i wanna say 2day

2004-08-27T02:25:00.000+08:00

Well, kinda busy recently due to my Final Year Project. Basically i m still stuck in doing it. Hopefully i could get it done asap then i could go play my ONLINE game...hee hee..

but back to what i wanna say, well i kinda manage to give myself a break to chit chat in MSN, happen to see Persis online who is now in Australia, I sad ahz, dont know whether got chance to go anot, hmm let me guess chances are super "SLIM" lolz... To think my mum tell me to go there study and work and "MIGRATE" there...lolz..but then i really wish i could go there to study.

After so long, i mean how long i know Persis, i initially thought of jus 4 to 5 yrs...she told is like oei, Kenneth is almost 8 yrs lahz.... :x hahaha me nothing to say... but then we are like hardly chit chat something like what we did in the evening...aaaa is night for Persis...lolz..

Well some kinda topics that we normally dont pop out so easily huh...but then i have mine out.lolz..cant resist the temptation of relieve stress through Chit chatting...(Going crazy on my FYP)

Oei Persis, if u happen to see, relac lahz. Cos i could "KNOW" u earlier, i probably will "WOO" you also,provided "THINGS" dont happen that way...lolz.....u are not abandon type lahz...but then hmmmm "DEAN CAIN" oei stop dreaming lahz...lolz... Miss Dreamer in Queensland...Stop Dreaming and get to studies lahz...lolz...

Well, i really enjoy talking to Persis, kinda got hold of time to chit chat then happen to chat with her...ha...Feeling still not bad huh...

Oh yah i manage to "SEE" Persis Blog....ok the 1st impression is:
OMG Persis, u are going "NUTs" for Singapore "JUNK FOOD" lolz..
Maybe i should really send some receipes to her huh....OEI Stop Dreaming lahz of that "Goreng Pisang" lahz...go buy some bananas and "D.I.Y" lolz...

Well back to my FYP --------- Kenneth

Its 5.25am now.

2004-07-31T20:25:00.000+08:00

Well, kinda have the mood or i should say
that i kinda bother by something in my brain
right now that make me have the mood not
to sleep. ha, i dont even know what i m saying
anyway. this is my 1st blog over blogspot,
to tell everyone here...i kinda treat this blog
as some kinda of diary...aaaa most anything
i wanna write it out...probably will write it here.
for pple who knows me and those who are not,
sorry for my nagging in the blog, probably its
some places for me to be myself after all.

Quote: There is no strong-willed human in this world, even there is, it couldn't defeat love and loneliness. If there is, i will show u what loneliness can make u be.

我今天想說的話

2004-07-31T16:36:00.000+08:00

素萍﹐ 我想你啊。。。

大概連自己都沒有發現到自己的夢想是什麼吧。。。

其實真要說起來﹐ 沒有任何缺點的素萍之所以會吸引我﹐

也都是因為你的夢想﹐ 你對於你所追求的生活﹐ 你的努力和紛鬥。。

素萍你從以前開始總是為了讓自己有好日子過﹐

為了自己的夢想狂奔的努力﹐

我也因為這樣﹐ 一心一意想著素萍﹐ 想為素萍拼命。。。這個啊。。。。。。。

或許是希望喜歡的人幸福。。。。。

希望能夠和喜歡的人一起幸福。。。

不是為了自己﹐ 而是為素萍著想的『夢想』﹐

這種夢想可不是人人都能擁有的。所以我真的很高興﹗

因為素萍﹐ 我有了 “為你的『夢想』﹗”